Notifications on my phone catch my eye. I picked it up and read an early warning of firing at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas.
My English wife is still perceptual and asks if I’m okay, so I must have looked pale. Our children, 8 and 6 years old, are in the kitchen where we are preparing for the swimming team. When you bite the inside of your cheek, slowly shake your ominous head and make a gesture. As soon as they’re gone, I switch on CNN and hear Jake Tapper’s cool words make sure I already know. for a moment.
Thirty minutes later, in tears, the wife sees the children swimming and simply says, “It’s enough,” and calls her.
The aftermath of Uvalde for my circle of friends, family and colleagues came soon.
As an expatriate from the UK, I am accustomed to waking up to the rash of messages from my country and beyond. But the next morning I had only one lonely text. At that moment, I could feel the distrust of people thousands of miles away. Indignation that words couldn’t make a difference at that moment. Not being able to take into account the reality that things that cannot be expressed in words can happen. Also.
One of the messages I received was from my oldest friend in the UK, “Hey, I’m afraid of you. Just go home.”
When the horrifying horror of what happened inside Rob Elementary School emerged, children of the same age and a friend of mine confessed that he was a “nervous shipwreck” and spent the night at Google on Canadian immigration law. .. Immigration has become a recurring theme among the many people I spoke to in the aftermath. The most bitter reaction came through a text from a longtime colleague who lamented the polarized violence of his troubled country: “You are not crazy about leaving. We are I’m crazy about staying, “he said.
There was a collective trauma that we were all dealing with, which found an exit for an instant group therapy session within my direct circle. The fear and anxiety that we all have is usually pushed deeper and instead rises to a cathartic fear-sharing crescendo.
The United States has been our hometown for nearly a decade. Both of our children were born here. They have a cute and flashy American accent with their friends and teachers, but you can turn on Queen’s English when you’re at home. And let’s cut it out here-being a Southern Englishman makes you an E-list celebrity every time you open your mouth. “I’m lurking your accent!” They say. Stock Answer: “I like you too!”
We thrived here-through schools and sports, we found a lasting and loving friendship and welcoming community. I worked in the birthplace of CNN and was able to realize my dream of working in the same sacred hall as the world’s greatest journalists.
But the tragedy of modern America is that it is involved in the civil war. Two political tribes now supercharging a violent culture, fueled by gun idolization, are talking to each other.
Inevitably everything is the most frustrating. As an executive producer, I’ve led countless filming coverage for CNN, and the cycle is always the same. First “confirmation” emails from the news desk, then breaking news, reporters running to the scene, life-size tragedy unfolding, press conferences, politician parades, survivor stories, irreparable Victims, political slaughter of hell, and modest legislative attempts. Memories are short. Political tribalism is well established. Inevitably, the world goes on until the cycle of shock and sadness begins again.
Three days after Uvalde’s shooting, I’m sitting in a huge auditorium, where my daughter and her classmates are about to sing a “moving ceremony” happily.
Outside, the police presence grows and it feels more like the Green Zone in Baghdad than high school. Furious parents with moist eyes surround me. And when we represent the national anthem, I remember all the moving moments I love about this country-noisy patriotism and the ambitions of those who never give up hope even after the most traumatic. Nature event.
In reality, I love America deeply. But it is no longer possible for us to endure this unique American problem. Time to go home.
Source: www.cnn.com
