If you want to have better, more exciting sex, you need to warm up before you come to your partner. There are many ways to do this, and many reasons why it’s important.
First, let’s start with the basics: what is a warm-up? It’s anything that helps prepare your body and mind for sex. There are many specific things you can do to prepare yourself physically (like exercise), but there are also mental tricks that help decrease anxiety and increase confidence. Here are a few of them.
If you’re looking for a fun way to spice things up, try proposing a sexy game. It doesn’t have to be over the top or involve sex per se, but it can set the mood for an amazing night.
Here are a few tips:
Make sure the proposed game is fun and exciting. It’s not necessarily about your partner enjoying it (although if she does, all the better for her), it’s about you. If you don’t like games at all, this may not be right for you. But if you like to fool around with your partner, then feel free to propose something like charades or truth or dare, but make sure it’s something new for both of you.
Don’t make things too sexual when proposing a game. Just because we’re talking about spicing things up doesn’t mean that our focus should shift away from intimacy altogether; these activities should be playful and fun rather than overtly sexual in nature (and consciously so). This is where I would recommend staying away from certain favorite activities, such as strip poker, as while they are great ideas in theory, playing around with them could cause problems down the road if things get too heated before either party is ready for it (which inevitably happens sometimes).
Teasing your partner is a great way to get closer and have more fun in the bedroom. It can be a little nerve-wracking at first, but once you get used to it, it becomes second nature.
Why? Because teasing is a way to show your partner that she’s attractive and desirable. You don’t want him to take himself too seriously, but to know that you love and adore him, even when things get silly.
This is something I discovered years ago when I traveled to India and saw that many sex worker in Dublin used sex toys as a great way to get hot. As you may have guessed, they can also be used to warm up your partner before sex. This is a good idea, especially if they are nervous or anxious about the act, because it gives them time before things get hot and heavy, which is when nerves can set in.
Regardless of how you use them, sex toys are great for warming up because:
They’re fun and easy to use, which means you focus less on how nervous or anxious you might feel about getting intimate with someone new (especially if it’s someone who’s not part of your regular rotation). If you want something super simple that doesn’t require batteries or charging, and will last forever a mini vibrator is the way to go.
Having access to this type of material without having to worry about where/how/who might see you adds another layer of anxiety for many people who aren’t used to talking openly about their sexuality.”
Before you begin, disconnect from your belief system. Your beliefs are yours and they are important, but they are not your partner’s, which means you have to be willing to leave them at the bedroom door. If you can’t do that, maybe it’s time to find a new partner who shares your values. No one should feel pressured to do something they don’t want to do or aren’t comfortable with.
When it comes to warming up, sensuality is a great way to start. By getting in touch with your own sensuality, you can feel more connected to yourself and your partner. Here are some ways to awaken your senses:
Gently touch yourself. Start by running a hand over the skin of an arm or leg. Notice what feels good and what doesn’t; this will give you an idea of how sensitive (or not) different areas of your body are. Try different pressures, too, to see what feels most pleasurable to you.
Kiss another person lightly on the neck, hands or face, and then try again with more intensity until you both feel good. This will help both people feel comfortable and, at the same time, build trust between them so they know how far they can go before things get uncomfortable (for either person).
Consider trying a new type of orgasm. “An orgasm is an orgasm, but there are many different types,” says Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast and author of The New Sex Bible. “If you don’t know what yours feels like and if you haven’t tried to find out you have no idea what might be possible.”
If you’re ready to explore and eager to try new things with your partner, here are some suggestions:
A shower or steamy bath together can be a great way to warm up before getting on top of each other in bed (or on the kitchen counter).
Getting aroused by whispering in each other’s ears while having sex in public places, such as elevators or parks, will make the experience even more exciting for both partners.
Exercise is a great way to warm up sex. If you and your partner are already in the habit of exercising together, this can be an easy transition. But if not, give it a try! Exercise is good for both your health and your sex life: you can feel more confident and energetic if you exercise with your partner.
Plus, exercise will foster positive feelings between you and improve communication skills that can help you take things from the gym to the bedroom (or anywhere else).
Sharing a fantasy with your partner can be a great way to get in the mood for sex. It can also help you both feel more connected and give you some ideas to try next time.
Come up with a fantasy you’ve been thinking about doing that involves your partner or something related to your partner.
Talk to him about it and see if he’s interested in trying it when the time comes.
This step is a more passive way to get into the mood, find music that you both like, and make sure it’s not too loud or too low. If one of you wants to listen to jazz and other classical music, it might not be a good time to try out that new sound system you bought online last week. It needs to be something you both enjoy listening to without being too distracting from what’s going on in bed.
Choose something with a beat, but not so fast that it feels like it’s faster than your heart rate (which will make it harder for either of you to relax). Also, avoid songs with lyrics until sex has begun; it’s distracting if they’re blaring while foreplay is happening.
Whether you’re getting ready to run a marathon or have sex, warming up is always a good idea. If it’s before exercise and sex, it’s even more important.
Warming up helps prepare the body for what’s ahead by improving blood flow, loosening muscles, and increasing flexibility. It also allows time for joint strains to ease and prevents injuries from occurring during more intense activity.
If you’re still not sure how to warm up before sex, don’t worry. It’s a process that evolves with your relationship and your body. You don’t have to do everything on this list at once; maybe just pick one thing you find fun and try it. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable because the last thing you want is a cold shower before getting it on with someone else.